No amount of encouragement, love, lecturing or pleading was going to change that. My daughter is in a methadone program at this time so we are just at the beginning of a long process. Although not a particularly concrete suggestion, that was apparently the best he could offer back in 2007 when the book was written. Could be this is where your addicted child is headed? Epicuri ullamcorper necessitatibus ut cum, postea percipitur temporibus an sea. So helpful for me I am a parent of an adult child heroin addict This book was so encouraging for me I been so codependent through all this and was making myself so sick emotionally and physically, blaming myself for everything I see things differently now.
After applying only a small portion of the advice, dramatic improvements occurred in my life and in my family addict's life. . Perhaps your child is being trained to counsel others. My brilliant, well educated 30+ year old alcohol addicted son will have to play out his drama elsewhere. How I wish it were otherwise. Since then, however, with the founding of Shatterproof www.
She said I looked well and I am now in the process of tapering off of my antidepressant and feeling better than I have in quite a while. To the author thank you for sharing your story, your book! On the other hand the daughter has been an addict for 20 years. While showing parents how to safely distance themselves from the child's destructive patterns, it also shows how to recognize and support healthy requests for real help, if and when they come. Although I will always love my child, I refuse to suffer from his choices. I was in the process of trying to take my life back and let go of my daughter in love and this helped me to deal with all of the emotional turmoil from dealing with this. We responded with counselling, lectures, assistance, enrolling them in differenct schools, finding them jobs, chauffering them all over town and generally waiting for them to change. I would love for him to connect with the larger research on his next edition, or include some observations of people who have lived through and studied the experiences of parenting adult addicts.
The author spoke to me as he expressed his life and I understood the truth about all these stages we allow ourselves to go through. While showing parents how to safely distance themselves from the child's destructive patterns, it also shows how to recognize and support healthy requests for real help, if and when they come. It is a step-by-step manual on how to recognize what is happening and how to free yourself before you kill yourself trying to fix your kid. Don't Let Your Kids Kill You is a landmark work that dares to focus on the plight of the confused, distressed parent and not the erring child. Informative but not sure of accuracy of some statements The title caught me.
He uses disparaging terms when referring to individuals with the disease of addiction, druggies, junkies, drunks, etc. It has strengthened my resolve to take better care of myself. Thank you Charles Rubin for your book. It started with never doing homework, then skipping school. If you are in my situation, make no mistake that this as difficult a situation as I can imagine.
A keeper for reference or support after you finish the book. Adolescent rehab programs should be making this required reading for their parents. Do Not Let Your Kids Kill You misses a few pertinent points I feel. And you can either succumb or choose not to let it happen. How little our elected leaders are doing to fight this epidemic other than locking up people who are suffering from a disease, that most likely has never been effectively treated or managed by medical professionals. I have tried many ways to cope with the situation including spending lots of time and money in counseling for me and him , lawyers for him and I have been on various anti-depressants on and off for years. He has come through the fire and has learned to value himself and to set real and meaningful boundaries to protect himself against both emotional abuse and financial exploitation by his adult addicted children.
Didn't happen, tried to get him mental help thru his insurance, he never followed thru, hired a lifecoach to try to help him get in a rehab that this guy had connection with and no luck, he was kicked out here and there on nights he caused problems and finally my usually laid back husband had had enough and he was told he had to leave. The advice in the beginning of the book was great about making the break from your manipulating addict. Not that I don't need it. I did not make him an addict and I can't do anything to make him get well-only he can do that. Then he mentioned that his own children were two and three years old. Update: 2-26-13 Helps comes in mysterious way and betters days are ahead for us, a time to love, a time for healing and being together. It is dedicated to letting parents know when it is time to start saving themselves from being dragged along to destruction as well, and to providing skills that prevent it.
I had been driven to my knees by an addicted child, and this book was a literal life saver. He might die an addict or from the consquences of his choices, but I will no longer allow my son's addiction to kill me as well. Indeed, this is an authentic and gritty account of what it takes to survive such an ordeal as a parent. This was our situation and I found this book to be very helpful to me. This book helped me to see the truth. I have already given this book to several people I know in this struggle and sadly, I have a feeling will be giving several more. We gave him the best years of his life and he has squandered his education, his grandparents inheritance, the love of his family and he is free to live the rest of his life as he sees fit when he gets out of jail.
I gleaned some good info from this book, but not enough to recommend it to others. While showing parents how to safely distance themselves from the child's destructive patterns, it also shows how to recognize and support healthy requests for real help, if and when they come. My feelings and circumstances were validated when I heard others struggles. Is she already drunk and heading out for more or is she heading to the bar to get blackout drunk and drive home that way? The book relies on spiritual but practical teachings and the message is for parents to attain a healthy balance in their lives through the letting go process. Broken furniture, drug paraphernalia, stolen jewelry, general destruction.